I just dreamt about you. It was a nightmare.

You had tried to kill yourself by jumping out your window on the 2nd floor. You twerp!

You weren’t dead of course, but were lying on the pavement all crunched up and nobody noticed you for about half a day.

I came to see how you were and you were aching all over, and also you had bitten off your tongue.

But everything you said to me made sense for the first time.

You said that my touch hurts you but that it is nice as well and that you never want me to go away.

But I went away. I snuck off just as the ambulance people came so that they would not see us together.

And I remember saying to you: ‘At least now you have an obvious reason to have therapy’. Or did I only think this in my dream?

I woke up in a puddle of blood.

Wednesday morning at the Ashbrooke laundrette

Colleague: You know ISIS, right?

I: Yes. What about it?

Colleague: You know this morning, yeah, on facebook, they said that ISIS is going to kill the Queen on the 15th of this month.

I: Why would they want to do this?

Colleague, after a moment of thinking: They want to take over the country.

I: The only people who would benefit from killing the Queen are the people in the UK. I don’t think anyone from another country would be interested in killing the Queen.

Colleague: You know, I was so scared this morning when I heard about this, that I didn’t want to come to work.

I give her a sceptical look.

Colleague: But, just imagine, what if they killed the Queen, they might kill the King after that!

I am about to tell her that this country hasn’t got a king. Then I realize that it is futile to destroy her fairy-tale illusion.

I: The Queen has no real power. She just shakes hands and wears pretty hats. She does not make the big decisions. If anyone would want to take over the power of this country then they would have to attack parliament… David Cameron or so.

Colleague: Oh. (Pause). Well, they can carry on and kill David Cameron, I don’t like him.


When the spoon goes empty to the mouth,
And jugular veins start to pulse,
Homeless people shiver under blankets,
And To-o-o-o-ries commence the culls.

This is the dawning of the age of austerity,
The age of austerity, austerity, austerity.

Tragedy keeps on expanding,
Bigotry and lies are mounting.
No more living dreams and visions,
Merely falsehood and derisions.
Greed exceeds throughout the nation
Under current legislation
Of austerity, austerity.